It takes a fearless person to achieve great things. Fear is a normal part of the human experience. It drives our decisions and reactions. And, it’s how we deal with it that really matters. Fear can take you down a road of endlessly running in circles without ever really going anywhere. Many of us unconsciously try to keep things predictable and avoid the things we fear by refusing new opportunities, saying no to invites, and ignoring our intuition. Fear paralyzes. Action is the antidote.
Start saying no to your limiting thoughts and beliefs. Say no to your fear and walk directly through it instead of by-passing it. Know what triggers it. Here are 7 actions you can implement now to make room for your fearless self.
Eliminate Self-Doubts. The only real way to reach your full potential and achieve your dreams in life is to eliminate any fear and doubts that slow you down, and build up your self-confidence. Knowing what your fears are is a great start. You can’t eliminate what you don’t see or acknowledge. Facing them and being brave is the next step.
“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.” – Suzy Kassem
Get out of “information analysis” mode. Take the time to figure out your problem, yes. But don’t stay stuck in a never-ending cycle of over thinking. This will only amplify your doubts and reduce the possibilities for action. It’s great to be prepared, but not knowing everything is also part of the fun. Make your new experience part of your learning process. Be willing to try without needing to be perfect.
Be bold! Own your fears and shine a light on them so you can figure out where they came from, and why you’re still holding on to them. Reclaiming your personal power and reframing the fear allows you to feel empowered and move away from the negative feelings and beliefs attached. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable by expanding your comfort zone and letting in new things that scare you a little. This is the easiest way you can expand your ability to do take risks and try new things.
Get comfortable with uncertainty. Pema Chodron says the way to develop limitless qualities is to step out of your cocoon. She says that loving kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity are the most important of these qualities. People who serve others find strength in it, lose themselves in it, and in doing so can eliminate their own suffering. This is so powerful! Having a practice of service to others is an important part of removing your own self-limiting barriers. One of the greatest joys in life is knowing you’re making your loved ones happy. Pema reminds us to use these qualities on ourselves too. Show yourself kindness and self-compassion, strive for what makes you joyful, and have calmness and composure in difficult situations (equanimity). This is key to expanding your thinking.
“Training in equanimity is learning to open the door to all, welcoming all beings, inviting life to come visit.” – Pema Chodron
Build (or re-build) your confidence. Confidence is attractive. Confident people don’t have constant worry about what others think or a need to please others. They have a strong sense of who they are and don’t wallow in fear or self-pity. Give yourself 5 minutes when you’re feeling fearful or uncertain. Then, actively work to shift your mood towards more positive thoughts. Positivity attracts positivity. Fear and other negative feelings and beliefs attract more of the same. Ask yourself, is your fear real or imagined? Assess the situation before forming a judgment about it.
To find out more about how to break your people-pleasing habit, check out this article: https://michellethompson.ca/2021/02/04/how-to-break-your-people-pleasing-habit-for-good/
Eliminate self-sabotage. We sabotage ourselves by waiting, by doubting ourselves, by listening to our fears instead of our gut. We wait for the right time, for the perfect partner, for things that may or may never happen. We tell ourselves we need to get stronger, better, richer better or do x, y, or z before taking action. The reality is that failure takes you one step closer to your dream. So, try now! If you fail, try again. Learn from failure. You can’t get through life without experiencing a few failures, it’s unavoidable and part of the human experience. Recognize any avoidant behaviors and patterns, and ask yourself why you’ve been avoiding doing certain things. Is it because you don’t know what action to take next? Are you afraid you might fail?
“Do one thing every day that scares you.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
Lastly, recognize that “Fear is a habit…” (Napoleon Hill). Then, make new ones. You can eliminate fear by telling yourself two things: I can, and I will. Make a plan and take action. Your life is in your hands and by remembering that you can empower yourself to take the reigns and steer your life in the direction that you want. Be willing to be vulnerable and allow difficult feelings like anger, fear, sadness to surface so you can face them, and conquer them. Be brave and allow the walls to come down once in a while. When we tolerate things, people, and circumstances despite being unhappy, we are failing ourselves on a daily basis. So, create new habits that will help you face fears head-on! Make it a habit to be fearless.
Copyright Authentic World Inc 2021, Michelle Thompson 2021
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
My name is Michelle. I have over twenty years of experience as a group facilitator and public educator. I’ve helped thousands of people re-imagine their lives and create concrete plans for self-improvement. I’ve facilitated dozens of workshops and support groups on topics like stress management, mental health and wellness, goal setting, grief counselling, safety planning, and confidence building. I’m a former social worker and non-profit consultant, and after struggling for years with my own feelings of anxiety and uncertainty about who I was and what I wanted, I did the work and learned how to get out of my own way and create an authentic meaningful life for myself. Now I teach others to do the same. I created Authentic World Inc, to offer a supportive space for learning these important life skills.
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