Spirituality author Esther Hicks says that you are the only person who can allow or block good things from coming into our life. She calls this way of “not allowing” resistance.
We’ve talked about resistance before. People resist when they’re out of alignment with what they truly want. In fact, feeling truly worthy means that even when things are not perfect, you still feel like you’ve done enough and ARE enough. Fear is natural, but a person’s worthiness exists despite it. It’s something you must believe at your core. It’s an inner confidence and self-assuredness that in my opinion can’t be taken away once you’ve found it.
Worthiness is an internal state of knowing. It’s that space where we see and accept ourselves as who we are authentically. It’s also reflected in our ability to let go of what others think we should be. Getting to a place of worthiness can be a lengthy process. It takes courage to love and accept yourself as you are, and feel confident that you’re enough.
Here are three situations where your feelings of unworthiness can block you and stop you from receiving good things. These strategies are meant to help you start the process of feeling more worthy if you’ve struggled with that in the past.
It’s never too late to be you and go after what you want
FEAR. Facing your fears is something you can do at any age. Even so, being true self can be scary. It can stop you from going after that dream job or answering that text from someone you’re interested in. On the other hand, the feeling of freedom you get from letting go of fear can be amazing.
Instead of asking others to validate your decisions, it’s possible to develop the habit of validating your own choices and ideas. You’ve done the research? You’ve got the skills? Your plan checks out? It’s now or never. Trust yourself enough to give yourself the chance to try. You would want others to do the same for you.
Taking action can seem scary at first but repetition builds confidence, so start now. It takes a lot of self-reflection to learn to tell the difference between something you truly want, and something you think you want because the people around you have told you it’s necessary. The difference between the two is simple, one makes you feel alive and the other feels a little empty or anxiety inducing.
Knowing yourself can help you recognize what you really want in life, and worthiness can give you the courage to go after it.
Discover why you don’t think you deserve it
There’s nothing more courageous than looking deep inside yourself and discovering the things that have been avoiding. These are the thoughts that stop you for being fully you. Ask yourself why you don’t believe you deserve good things in your life. The answer is probably buried in your sub-conscience somewhere and talking to someone about it may be helpful if you’ve experienced any form of abuse, bullying, or violence.
These feelings likely stem from receiving inaccurate negative messages about yourself from others, or from yourself. It’s possible that the events connected with this happened as a young child, but they may have also taken place as an adult. Ask yourself this: is this true right now? If the answer is no, it’s time to reframe that belief.
Creating a new believe can be done by writing a statement that counters your negative thinking. The point of this exercise is to, a minimum, question every negative thought that goes through your mind. The reason is that your thinking may have been built on unfounded insecurities, irrational doubts, or inaccurate information. Remember two things. You are enough as you are. You are not your past.
Move on from a past that longer serves you
After experiencing a difficult time, we can tell ourselves that we’re undeserving of love or happiness. We can create a story to explain to ourselves what happened. We can hold onto the belief that the same thing will happen again if we try again. When you create a story about yourself and repeat it over and over, you resist personal growth and change.
While this is a defense mechanism, years later it may no longer be serving you. To let go of the past is no easy feat. But, by using techniques like mindfulness and meditation, you can learn to stay in the present moment. When you learn to operate in what Eckhart Tolle calls “the now”, what you’re really doing is disconnecting from your story and your past.
As human beings, we become attached to the stories of our past and this becomes a part of our identity. You can re-write your story and shift your identity by learning to correct yourself when you make negative statements about you.
For example, instead of saying “I don’t deserve you” to a partner, try saying “I am so grateful to have you in my life.” Instead of saying “I suck at relationships”, reframe that and say “I’m always growing, learning, and ready to invest 100%.” Pay attention to your self-talk and language. They’re either blocking you, or helping you move forward.
How will you know when you hold the space for worthiness?
- When you’re not afraid of rocking the boat anymore.
- When you’re choosing work projects that get you excited and make you feel good about what you do.
- When you’re open to trying new things and meeting new people.
- When you stop resisting the good things that come into your life and feel gratitude for them.
- When you let go of the habits that keep you feeling small and invisible.
You’ll know when you’ve aligned who you are with what you want. That’s when you’ll be really to manifest a new reality without letting guilt, doubt, or other people’s opinions slow you down.
“Worthiness, or unworthiness, is something that is pronounced upon you by you. You are the only one that can deem yourself worthy or unworthy.”
– Esther Hicks
Copyright Michelle Thompson 2021. Copyright Authentic World Inc 2021.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
My name is Michelle. I have over twenty years of experience as a group facilitator, zen meditator, and public educator. I’ve helped thousands of people re-imagine their lives and create concrete plans for self-improvement. I’ve facilitated dozens of workshops and support groups on topics like stress management, mental health and wellness, goal setting, grief counselling, safety planning, and confidence building. I’m a former social worker and non-profit consultant, and after struggling for years with my own feelings of anxiety and uncertainty about who I was and what I wanted, I did the work and learned how to get out of my own way and create an authentic meaningful life for myself. Now I teach others to do the same. I created Authentic World Inc, to offer a supportive space for learning these important life skills.
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